Search Terms for the Win

You guys. I’m finally crawling out of the deep dark pit of sickness, and was able to sleep for the first time last night in three nights! Go me.

I’ll be spending this weekend catching up on basically everything: house cleaning, blogging, designing, emails, and getting a manicure (has it really been 4 months since my last one?). Yep. Even expats live ‘normal’ lives sometimes. What’s not normal is going to the bakery, buying a sausage, cheese, and egg roll only to discover the ‘sausage’ is actually a hotdog made of some unknown substance. I wish I could say I threw it away, especially after the fact that it had been (most likely) sitting out in room temperature for 5+ hours. But nope, I ate that sucker. Here’s to hoping sickness round two doesn’t show up.

In my blogging absence the last few days, I’ve taken the time to catch up on things behind the scenes over here at Living in Another Language. One very important thing to catch up on was the search engine terms that have referred people to my site. These search engine terms are also otherwise known as Google Search terms, because let’s face it. Who uses anything other than Google to find anything nowadays?

I’ve been lucky enough to have 400+ referrals a day via search engines, so it took me a while to go through these and pick out the doozies. I’d have to say I left some out from this list because they were absolutely disgusting, and I didn’t want you losing your lunch over something so ridiculous. Let’s just say the ones left out had to do with a woman’s monthly cycle and/or something you do in the bathroom. Sigh. I guess that’s what I get for writing a couple posts on No-Poo. I did however save some reader-friendly search terms about poo for you, so don’t worry.

“It’s my first time to bake and I killed it.”-Congrats!? However I can’t help but be intrigued about what you baked.

“Guy who marries ice-cream”-Hmmmmm. This isn’t even possible. Or is it? I searched this term via google, and I’d have to say, the results were no good. NO GOOD! Found Love Now What’s post on Marriage gave me this gem of a search term. 

“People react like I stink and I don’t know why”-First of all, we probably need to discuss whether you use deodorant or not.That could be your problem. Second, do you brush your teeth? There is NOTHING worse than having to talk to a person with bad breath. Lastly, do you bathe?

“Does unfiltered honey have bee feces in it?”-Well, to be honest I’ve never thought of this. Now that you mention it, I can’t help but wonder myself. It’s ok, I’ve been eating the stuff for years, and I’m still somewhat of a normal individual. My question is…what about beeswax? Am I spreading terrible things all over my lips? 

“Photo of girls with thighs very hairy” Can I just unread this? Thank you.

“Why don’t some girls brush their hair?” Well, some of us just don’t need to brush everyday. Maybe you read this post about how I didn’t realize I left my hairbrush in Japan until a week later?

“My daughter is 4 months and she doesn’t have hair.”  Seriously, don’t worry about it. I was bald until I was 2 years old. I win.“My hair is snapping off with 40 percent bleach.” STOP BLEACHING YOUR HAIR!!!

“Bathed in baking soda, now I feel funny.” Bathed? As in took a baking soda bath? Yeah I wouldn’t recommend that. I just use it ONLY on my scalp, and have to put vinegar in to balance out the PH levels. Did you not read that anywhere?

“Where does poo store if u don’t go for 5 days?” I’ll forgive your lack of grammar in this one don’t worry we all know I make enough grammar mistakes for all of us. I’d imagine after 5 days you aren’t feeling the greatest? Go drink some prune juice!

“I keep finding hair in my son’s poo.” Gross. Why are you searching through your son’s poo?

This is going downhill real fast. As you can see, I’m always shocked and entertained over my search terms. I’m always curious about others’! What are some favorites from your blog?!