I used to hate Valentines Day. As a matter of fact I still kind of do. It irks me that there is a day that men (and women) are obligated to do something for their significant other. I know V-day is supposed to be a romantic, sexy, fun, and amazing holiday, but I can’t help but think: “what about the rest of the year?” Why do we have to wait for this one specific day to show our love? There are 364 more days in the year that our special someone deserves to be loved and swept off their feet. Don’t you think?
I am however, the most puzzling person ever. Derik knows how I feel about Valentines Day, but every time this dreaded day comes I get pissed if he doesn’t do anything ‘extra’ special for me. WHO AM I?! Sigh. Darn all those cultural influences that say ‘this’ and ‘this’ HAVE to be done on this day. Urggggg.
I’m super happy for the couples that go out of their way to make this day special, and in no way am I bringing a debbie downer to you! I just personally don’t like the holiday and would rather spend 365 days showing my love to my husband in creative ways other than just one specific day. Obviously love is in the air today, so I thought what’s better to blog about than a little bit of that romantic stuff?
My husband and I have been married since August 16th, 2010, after dating just 4 months. Before you have a heart attack about this, you should know we had been friends since 2006, where we met in a work-study program in college. I thought about writing a ‘how-to,’ on the first years of marriage for today, but who am I kidding? I don’t have a PhD in anything, I’ve only been married for 3.5 years, and I’m 25 years old. I’m pretty credible don’t ya think? Nixed that idea real quick. Cue cheezy grin.
I’ve decided write about how I spend every day of my life falling more and more deeply in ‘like’ with my husband.
Yes. I said like.
Here’s the deal. I’ve loved my husband for 4 1/2 years. ‘Love’ goes a lot deeper than ‘like’, and it’s harder to fall out of. ‘Like’ is something that’s very easy to fall out of, and so many couples my age (married or not) get caught in a pit of un-like…which can lead to falling out of love if it gets crazy bad. Yikes.
Hopefully I haven’t lost you yet.
Here we go-how I fall more in ‘like’ with my husband:
1. I have a list saved on my phone of 100 reasons I adore my husband. Every time I have a bad day, I read this list and it makes me smile and get all warm and fuzzy inside.
2. He’s not afraid of the unknown and encourages me to take the leap of faith with him. I seriously have the greatest adventures with my husband. Heck. I moved South Korea where I didn’t have family, didn’t know anyone, didn’t speak the language, or didn’t know how the heck I was going to to do my job (I’m not a certified teacher). My husband has always been there for me as I’ve had small panic attacks due to the lack of friends (I was a huge socialite back home), as I’ve broken down and cried over not being there for my sister’s pregnancy or birth over her sweet baby girl, and as old friends have unexpectedly passed away. Guys-It’s hard living overseas. But it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to our marriage. We only have each other to lean on for support, and as a young married couple we have grown so much by this.
3. My husband loves to play. I should rephrase that: my husband and I love to play! Whether it’s tossing the football, playing Kinect (I suck at it), jumping in the waves of the ocean, making music or even experimenting in partner yoga,we love to do things together! I think playing is so important in our relationship. It helps us forget the stresses of the day and unwind the right way: with each other. We’re both open to trying new hobbies, and when we’re not good at them, we love to laugh with each other.
4. We talk. About everything. First of all, my husband and I have no secrets. We talk openly about the past to each other as well as the present struggles we may be facing. D really doesn’t have much of a choice…I don’t have many girlfriends I can just yap all my problems to. He has to step in and fill that void, and thankfully he does it with such understanding and has a great listening ear!
5. We both enjoy life. I am so thankful to have married a man who enjoys life just as much as I do. Whether its drinking a cup of jasmine tea in the morning and reminiscing about the last 7 years we have known each other, or jumping into pitch black ocean water at night to swim with manta rays, we’re ready to take on the world together, hand-in-hand. We love new experiences, old experiences, crazy experiences, and everything in between. Life is our biggest adventure, and we’re both on board to live it to it’s fullest!
So do I ‘love’ my husband? I freaking adore him. Do I ‘like’ my husband? Oh yes…way more than I could possibly even say. Sure, we have our moments: the times that just aren’t ‘working.’ But overall, at the end of the day, D is always there for me and I’m always there for him.
What about you? What do you do to fall in ‘like’ with your significant other? Have you found that learning to ‘like’ each other better has lead to a more successful and loving relationship?
Happy Valentine’s Day!